opinion

What is happening to my Teagan?

Gram Ponante
An escort ad on craigslist reveals that Teagan Presley is ready to help in your 15 minutes of need.

Is this a smear? Isn't she several months' pregnant? Isn't she not doing guys anymore?

If this picture reveals Teagan as she currently looks, she is going to give birth to a perfectly two-dimensional Hollywood child.

Professional playboy Dependable Skeleton writes that originally the ads ran with a link to the porn star escort service bodymiracle, but the name has been dropped in recent posts. Several calls to the listed number went unanswered, and our e-mails bounced back.

Also, a donkey was killed in the street. This was probably unrelated.

"They probably would tell you at the last minute that Teagan was unavailable," Dependable Skeleton said.

"This is fraudulent," Digital Playground production manager and Pirates writer Max Massimo thundered. Massimo also offered me fifty bucks for my starring role in Jack's Playground 27, but I demurred, offering to donate my fee to my favorite charity, Spay the Whales.

Like Times Square electronics stores or the recent spate of applicants to adult trade publications being offered jobs to only have those jobs rescinded, escort agencies often use bait and switch tactics. Pamela Peaks, however, is ready to serve for $1500 an hour.

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