opinion

Jed: Clamp It

Gram Ponante
When the Doc Johnson Vibrating Fantasy Clamp arrived at Gram Ponante Towers, I misread the package as Vibrating Fantasy Camp and imagined some expensive program for middle-aged people who wanted to see what it's like to have an epileptic seizure.

But that was not it, at all. The Vibrating Fantasy Clamp applies clothespin technology to affix pincers to up to a half-inch of available skin, sending an electric charge via a battery pack. What fantasies come when the clamp begins vibrating the press release does not say, but Doc Johnson suggests nipples, balls, cock (pardon me, but there's not a half-inch of fatty tissue on my cock, Doc), ears, or other erogenous zones as good clamping candidates.

As you know, the biggest erogenous zone is the mind, so I have both the purple and black Fantasy Clamps on three of my working lobes as we speak.

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