opinion

Are you a Mouthketeer?

Gram Ponante
David Aaron Clark sent along this trailer for Asian Mouth Club 3, despite repeatedly rejecting my own membership application based on race and gender.

"But my father owns a railroad as well as the fanciest hotel in town," I said.

"No dice," Clark replied, not a lefty at all, really.

Clark knows what he's doing, so I'm sure he won't be offended whern I say the off-camera voice in AMC3 sounds downright creepy as it interviews starlets like Destiny (pictured) and Taya Cruz; like the voice you might hear in an unfamiliar bus station frequented by runaways at 3 a.m. or, perhaps, emanating from a storm drain in the asian porn version of Stephen King's It.

Unlike my tuna, Asian Mouth Club 3 is proudly dolphin and tentacle-free.

---- David Aaron Clark writes, having drunk himself blind to the sound of old T. Rex:

"This edition of AMC is the result of my unhealthy inclinations towards Japanese schoolgirl culture, Nabokov, & the visual aesthetics of John Leslie & softcore photographer David Hamilton. The April/September encounters are genial & easygoing but with a creepy edge: sort of like that bachelor uncle with the really nifty rare book collection that your mom would shit if she knew he was letting you look at them. The young ladies are given full license to be the witty little brats they are & tease "Mr. Hentai" mercilessly. It's kind of like what Max Hardcore might be like if he had gotten along with his mom.

I might note to the astrologically inclined that two out of three of the cast -- Taya & Kina -- are Virgos, as am I (born recently, in fact -- same day as Marc Bolan), so those seductions are particularly deadpan & mordant.

Darn, I didn't do a very good hype job, did I? Let me try again:

THREE SASSY TEEN SCHOOLGIRL BITCHES GET THEIR CUM-UPPANCE WHEN THEY'RE TRICKED INTO SERVICING A DIRTY OLD MAN'S PERVERTED DESIRES IN WAYS THEY NEVER IMAGINED, STRETCHING THEIR EDUCATION -- & THEIR POPPIN' FRESH YOUNG PUSSIES & MOUTHS -- TO THE BREAKING POINT!

Did I mention it's all shot by natural light? David Hamilton. John Leslie.

John Leslie.

David Aaron Clark likes to rock now. Yes he does.

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