And, once again, we all head to XBizLA and whatever other shows that we need to attend in the New Year! 

We all love going to see our B2B partners and affiliates.  To meet new-comers and revive old relationships.  The shows are truly one of the things that drive our industry and create this odd set of bedfellows we call "The Adult Industry".

The goal of this post is to offer any new-comers (and maybe a reminder to old-timers) some helpful hints to make your show experience as enjoyable and profitable as possible.  Based on 15 years of my observations speaking and moderating at adult and tech shows, here are a few chestnuts of common collective wisdom to consider:

- Plan Ahead.
If you have not done so already, set up a few meetings with key strategic partners for the show.  And, as you go through the XBizLA show and meet new people, try to set up meetings with them for the other shows that are coming during the rest of the first quarter of 2012.  Focused "Face Time" is the Holy Grail for these shows, and you taking the initiative to set up lunches, dinners and even coffee breaks show you as an organized and dedicated professsional.

- Bring Your Bling
As strange as it might sound, over the past 15 years I have seen countless people show up at shows with either no business cards, or not enough to last for the duration of the show.  Do yourself a favor and bring along a box of 500 biz cards.  You won't use them all in one show, but the next show is right around the corner.  And, a few "business card" tips":
1) When someone hands you a business card, be sure to write a few notes on the back of it at the end of the conversation about the essence of the conversation and any follow up needed. If you neglect that, you probably won't remember the conversation a week later;
2) When you have your own business cards printed, go for it with fancy glossy design on the front of it.  Holographs! 3D! Go for it.  BUT - make sure the back of the card is plain white stock that other people can write on.  I can't even begin to count the number of glossy black biz cards on both sides I have been handed at shows that look like American Express Centurian Cards, but, having no way to make a note on the back of it, have no idea at all who this person was, so it went into the trash bin.

- Eat, Drink and be Hydrated
The old axiom for trade shows, Burning Man and camping trips is "Eat more than you think you need, and drink more water than you think you can drink".  Trade show environments tend to be devoid of humidity.  Add to that, drinking way too much booze and you have a recipe for  dehydration, headaches, and not being on top of your game. Specific Hint for XBizLA: There is a Walgreens/CVS right across the street from the Sofitel.  Do what I do and make that your first stop to load in a case of bottled water, a gallon of orange juice and any carbs you desire to take into your room (avoiding Sofitel $7 per bottle water!). They also have large bottles of booze at discount prices.......

- Casual Sex
My observation is that no one at a trade show has had casual B2B sex since around 2001.
Don't bother even trying. You'll get the rumor mills going about you being a sleaze bag.
If ya need it that bad, the Yellow Pages are right in the top dresser drawer beside your hotel bed.  Turn to "E" -- look for "Escorts".  Save yourself the humiliation. Women In Adult are not what you want to try to pick up. They are more professional and intelligent than most of the men in this industry and will burn you down in a heartbeat.

- Early To Bed, Early To Rise
Let's face it. No wonderful business deal hatched at 2am at a party after 19 drinks and an ounce of coke ever gets remembered the next day.  Some of my best deals EVER have been made over breakfast at 9am while things are still quiet at the shows and everyone present has a clear head.  Sure, the parties are great, but I suspect the reason we go to the shows is to create new business.  As a rule of thumb, if you have not gotten it done by 9pm, you are just partying like a Frat Boy/Girl, so don't expect much ROI for those late-night conversations.

- Seminars are Important
One of the key elements in all trade shows are the seminars where industry leaders give some information and hints to the current trends to pay attention to.  Go to as many as you can.  There generally isn't much going on during the day anyway and, assuming you were not out until dawn sucking down shots at a titty bar with a gonzo producer named Floyd from Miami that has the "Best MILF HUGE TITTY Gal EVER", get your butt out of bed, have breakfast with a new B2B possible collaborator, and then have seat in the seminar rooms with a cup of coffee and a bottle of water.

- On The Way Home
I have the travel issue of living in New Hampshire, so any show I go to generally involves 5-10 hours on a plane after the show.  What I always do is pull out all those business cards and notes and do a "Triage" on the plane for what I need to follow up on when I get back to the office.

- Follow Up
Traditionally, the most pitiful aspect of the Adult Industry is the lack of follow-up on conversations that took place at trade shows.  This works to your benefit.  After giving things 4-5 days to settle down after the show, start that follow up and don't give up on any leads until they seem to be going nowhere.  Again, you will "rise above the pack" by doing this and demonstrate being professional and dedicated.

That should do it for the basic strategy.  Oh, and when you see Helmy, Moe, Kristen or any other future show organizer, take a minute and say "thanks" to them.  You can't even imagine the work and such they put into these things for all of us and they really appreciate a pat on the back.

See you at XBizLA!

Colin

It's been a while since I posted to this "Unsung Heros" column at XBiz.
At times, looking for someone to feature here, I feel like Diogenes, searching the hills of Rome for the last honest man.

But, here we go......
I found another one!

Liam of PinkVisual

We all know of PinkVisual through the adept PR and B2B community efforts by Allison Vivas and Quentin at that wonderful production and marketing company. But, over the past 6 months I found out who makes the trains run on time there: Liam.

When I first met Liam at an XBiz event a few years ago, I thought I was bumping into an extra from the movie "Rob Roy".
He is too tall. He is lanky. He has "that Celtic look in his eye" that makes me shiver!

But, over the past 2 years, I have discovered that this Liam man, working WAY behind the curtain at PinkVisual is probably the most hard working and honest persons I have seen in adult in the past 10 years. 

Integrating with PV Mobile was always a challenge, but I personally watched Liam direct his team 24x7 for months on end to make sure things were working.  If you are new to the industry, you can not even imagine how rare that is these days.

My hat is off to Liam at PinkVisual. He is kind, gentle, articulate, intelligent, humorous, professional and diligent. You just don't find that combination these days, and, under the helm of Allison Vivas, PinkVisual is a force or nature and a force to contend with for such Borg/gobblers as Manwin (who's ass they kicked and, oddly, rehabilitated for the greater good. Davey and Goliath, anyone?)

So, in closing...... Liam is simply one of the current BTS players that I trust. Pink Visual is, well (and I am sure to get shit for this), "the little engine that could!" and Liam is the guy stoking the engines there.

Cheers, Colin at Wasteland.com

(coming up soon to this column are Liz Wright, Greg at MojoHost, Christian Mann at Evil Angel, Mo at XBiz, and Christopher at Mikandi.com. Email me if you want to tell a story about how great these folks are for inclusion in the blog posting. They will appreciate it, and Google longtail is a great thing as this blog gets 1k reads a day. rowntree2007@gmail.com )

Oh, and if you are one of the last 3 affiliates in adult, I am at spicecash.com

Okay, so this one is not really "unsung" as Joanna is possibly one of the best exposed adult entertainers in the biz right now.

But, this is a "hats off" for her crew and partners that make this magic happen.

I have been doing some cross-promo with Joanna's team over the past couple of weeks and noticed something note-worthy:  They work their asses off and deliver on their promises. On Time. For those of us dealing with larger entities, we instantly see this as novel, in a time where dysfunction and chaos rules, and 99% of the "deals" set up for B2B fall through the cracks.

Two thumbs up for Joanna Angel's small crew of FOUR that run the entire company, and, the "Unsung Hero" of note for this edition of my running blog, Mitch Fontaine. Mitch is the Unsung Hero here. He keeps the trains running on time, is on top of deadlines, and, all the while, is a perfect gentleman in the NYC manner (rather than the la-dee-da California, I need to go do some blow, and have lunch with people about promises of dot-xxx riches) manner that tends to stall out most of the time, IMHO.

New here and looking for something different?

Go to JoannaAngel.com and hit the webasters link. (Yes, it is CCBIll, but not bad in this instance!)

Colin

About the Author:

As the founder and CEO of Wasteland.com, the Internet’s oldest and most popular
alternative sexual community, Colin Rowntree is a true pioneer of the online adult
entertainment industry. Since launching Wasteland.com in 1994, Colin has developed a
network of sites that encompasses the full breadth of adult business sectors, from content
production and distribution to affiliate program management, mobile content delivery to
transaction processing, just to name a handful.

Colin’s stature within the adult industry is reflected by the many honors and recognitions
he has received over the years from adult industry media outlets and trade organizations,
including his 2011 induction to the Adult Video News (AVN) Hall of Fame and 2010
XBIZ Award for Excellence in Alternative Erotica. Colin was also the recipient of the
2011 Leadership Award from the Free Speech Coalition (FSC).

An eloquent, witty and thought-provoking commentator, Colin is a frequent contributor
to industry trade publications and websites, including Adult Video News and XBIZ. He
has been interviewed by and featured on BBC Television, the Fox Network, HBO, Wired
magazine, Cnet.com and Bnet.com.  Contact Colin at his B2B network site, SpiceCash.com.

Unsung Hero (noun): a person who makes a substantive yet often unrecognized contribution; a person whose bravery is unknown or unacknowledged.

This, the first part of an ongoing series for my XBiz Blog, provides a spotlight on a person in the adult industry that has worked behind the scenes over the years to help make our industry a success.  Yes, we all know the names Larry Flynt, John Stagliano, Ron Cadwell, Alec Helmy, and the many others that are the public figures, but who makes the trains run on time in the background?  Let's take a look at some of these folks I have known, worked with, and have gained respect for over my 16 years in the adult industry...

Industry Bard:
Theresa (Darklady) Reed
Industry Writer, Journalist, Pundit and Activist

I first met Darklady about 14 years ago at one of the early industry trade shows and she immediately struck me as one of the brightest people I had ever encountered, anywhere. 

The bio from her main website reads: "Theresa "Darklady" Reed is a regular contributor to numerous adult industry trade magazines and websites, a board member of the Free Speech Coalition, on the Advisory Committee for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, and has nearly two decades of experience covering the adult entertainment industry, internet technology, and alternative sexuality beats online, in print, and via traditional and web radio".

But, that does not even begin to cover the depth of this special person that has been in our midst over the years.  A quote from her blog gives us a glimpse into her thought process:
"Working writers, just like mainstream actors or video vixens, are only as good as their last releases, so as soon as the ink is dry on the CRT, it’s time to get moving on the next piece of priceless prose. Time to create. Time to Become again. In order for that to happen, there has to be an eternal flame of some sort that burns inside, probably where sanity is usually located. The process of Becoming, of using that internal fire as a motivating force that purifies and strengthens is an inherent part of the creative process. It is also inherently risky, since it opens the individual up to constant change and growth, both of which can be exhausting."

Among my favorite experiences working with Theresa was our collaboration on "Dot-XXX - The Movie".  Around a year or so ago, I got a hair across my butt about the ongoing dot-xxx developments and asked Darklady if she would write a script to do a parody film to educate people that were otherwise too weary or busy to dig through the 10 years of documents about this industry debacle.  The results were just amazing, and over the course of a month, she wrote and delivered one of the finest bits of high art parody I've ever been blessed to work with as a film treatment.  Theresa has been a contributing author to my sites Wasteland.com and Sssh.com for years for erotic prose, but this screenplay astounded me!

Since that time, Darklady has been the proverbial "class historian" on the dot-xxx issue at her comprehensive site, dotxxxopposition.com which shows her depth of passion for free speech issues and attention to detail as an historian, all interlaced with her unique op-ed charm and humorous sidebars.  Most recently, we can see this in yet another dot-xxx satire based around an Austin Powers movie scene that feels all too close to the reality in our industry at present.

So, be it investigative reporting, editorial or prose, Theresa "Darklady" Reed is a voice that has resounded and helped shape the adult industry since it's beginnings.

Visit her on the web at any of the above links, or her home blog at http://darklady.com/

---

About the Author:

As the founder and CEO of Wasteland.com, the Internet’s oldest and most popular
alternative sexual community, Colin Rowntree is a true pioneer of the online adult
entertainment industry. Since launching Wasteland.com in 1994, Colin has developed a
network of sites that encompasses the full breadth of adult business sectors, from content
production and distribution to affiliate program management, mobile content delivery to
transaction processing, just to name a handful.

Colin’s stature within the adult industry is reflected by the many honors and recognitions
he has received over the years from adult industry media outlets and trade organizations,
including his 2011 induction to the Adult Video News (AVN) Hall of Fame and 2010
XBIZ Award for Excellence in Alternative Erotica. Colin was also the recipient of the
2011 Leadership Award from the Free Speech Coalition (FSC).

An eloquent, witty and thought-provoking commentator, Colin is a frequent contributor
to industry trade publications and websites, including Adult Video News and XBIZ. He
has been interviewed by and featured on BBC Television, the Fox Network, HBO, Wired
magazine, Cnet.com and Bnet.com.  Contact Colin at his B2B network site, SpiceCash.com.

Hunter Thompson was not there, but the Dot-XXX session was every bit as macabre as anything he could have penned! Like a pinball machine that alternated between vitriolic, dark humor, politicians caught in a lie, and outright "just plain strange", this seminar was without a doubt the most surreal and difficult one I have moderated in the past 15 years of doing such at adult conferences and trade shows.

After much machination over who would moderate and speak on this hot-button panel, it all went down on April 2nd with a remarkable combination of industry execs, pundits, lawyers and ICM execs. Sort of like going to a fist fight and an opera broke out!

Take a peek. And listen carefully. It is rather enlightening and revealing....

http://vimeo.com/22006808

Oh, the tapdance routines, potential fistfights and moments of dark comedy occur about every 11 minutes if you want to just scan through it!

 

Cheers,

Colin

Just a few musings about this upcoming event.

The XBiz Awards, now going on for 10 years, started out as an informal, ad hoc event that was always a good party, but was a bit of the "red headed stepchild" of the industry as far as awards show go.

What is wonderful to me is that Helmy has taken this show on as a personal passion, and, over the last several years, has turned it into a spectacular event. Having been an award presentor and recipient several times over the past years, this is the the most finely-tuned backstage organization I have seen outside of the Metropolitan Opera or Broadway. Stage Managers! Headsets! Timeline Schedules! I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful this is, and so unusual outside of professional stage theater or television programming.

This is all based on my rather strange alter-ego of being a broadway musical and opera director and producer over the past 30 years. Starting out as a catwalk techie at the Bolshoi Theater in the good old USSR back in the late 1970's, to, more currently, at Tanglewood, the Metropolitan Opera and a few hundred productions of "Carmen", "Annie", and lots of other things that might make me look like an Allan Ginsburg-type socialist.

Two Thumbs Up, XBiz, and specifically Alec Helmy for slowly but surely ramping this show up to a very professional, classy and well-groomed event. This is a great show to present to the world the adult industry in a well-heeled and snappy light. Good Job!

Last minute info on the show is here: http://www.xbizawards.com/

Colin

Okay, that was a strange headline, but here you are!

Colin here, doing a little historic tour of adult industry trade shows from beginning to end, and why we keep going to these events.

One of my first adult trade shows was back around 1997. It was one of the early "Fay Sharp" shows (that later became Cybernet Expo). It was grand in so many ways. But, one glitch: Fay publicized that there would be a wine and cheese lunch, but catering messed up and there was NO CHEESE!!!! This was the ongoing joke for the duration of that early show for many years to come, and is probably the running joke line for all shows to this day. "Where's the cheese?"

This brings us to the heart of the cheese matter: What is it that trade shows do for us as an industry, and what do the organizers of these shows do for us in the bargain?

As for the organizers.... Whichever one we name, and all will go nameless here, they all put in a massive amount of thought and work to make the experience a success.

In the early days, it was all about treating affiliates to a wonderful experience to curry favor with them. Cruise ships with a bilge full of hookers for free blow jobs? NO PROBLEM! 40x40 foot trade show booths with private lap dance rooms on the show floor? NO PROBLEM!

But then, when things changed, it all got smaller and sadder as far as the big promotions. No more big booths or promos. Smaller parties. Most of the 24 remaining affiliates on earth sequestered in a couple of penthouse suites packed in caviar and private dancers, not allowed to leave the room for fear another program would recruit them.

So, we have gone from little to big, and back to little. Oh My God! The trade show organizers work very hard to create compelling education seminars. They tweak badge prices from reasonable to free to see what happens (well, except Phoenix Forum that continues obscene badge prices). But, they keep on trying (on an ever smaller margin these days, like all the rest of us), and that is the point here.

What then is our response as webmasters and program owners to all of this? Sure, we can bitch about "too many shows", or the costs of going to them. But, in the long run, these shows are our life blood as far as B2B networking. That has been the point of them ever since the beginning, even with all of the gradual morphing for them to stay in business.

A few givens these days:

- If you fly to a show, it will be miserable and the airlines will bend you over in every way possible.

- The hotel that is hosting the show will bend you over for room rates and $20 martinis at the circle bar.

- There will be virtually no affiliates for you to entice that you will ever find, but at least 25 alternative billing solutions guys there that will go out of business within the year to give you an "elevator pitch".

- But, in all of that, there will be a few dozen B2B people that are relevant to your business that you can meet, develop relationships with, and go home to work with on joint projects that will grow your business.

At the recent show in Vegas, I had a chat with Michael from Qwebec Expo. I asked him how the show was for him and he blithely said, "Colin, I am here with hundreds of people in my industry that I can do business with, all in one spot! This is paradise for me!" I think that sort of says it all.

So, to end this little sermon: Go to as many shows as you can. These are where the relationships are formed that take your business forward.

And stop bitching about the lack of cheese.

Happy Trails, Colin at Wasteland.com


Upcoming Events:

XBiz LA: One of my personal favorites. Well run and organized. Perfect LA venue. Great programs. (Big kudos to Moe on infrastructure for this one.)

The Phoenix Forum: An industry favorite, but very pricey.

Cybernet Expo (YNOT): The dark horse and one of the best for seeing company principals face to face.

Webmaster Access: Good if you like to party. This show is a blast from the past when most shows were a madhouse!

I had the pleasure to participate in a satire film project written by adult entertainment industry writer and pundit, Darklady recently which has culminated in a short film about the Dot-XXX story from an adult industry perspective.

Using the tried and true Saturday Night Live format for satire, the film is a truly collaborative effort, with cameo appearances by Larry Flynt, John Stagliano, Joanna Angel, Q Boyer, Allison Vivas, Peter Acworth of Kink, Ron Cadwell of CCBill, Mitch Farber of NETbilling and a cast of other adult entertainment luminaries, all of whom contributed their time, creativity and film crews to lend their voice about this issue.

Take a look at it on YouTube before you read on to give you some context.

You can also see it on Darklady's Dot-XXX News, Info and Op-Ed site,
DotXXXopposition.com

A full media story may also be found on XBiz at
DotXXXOpposition Launches With '.XXX — The Movie

With additional mainstream coverage at The Huffington Post


In the interest of posterity, here is the "raw version" of a recent interview I did on the topic with XBiz journalist, Rhett Pardon (he had the skill to shorten my answers for the final print version per my request to make them fit within the capacity of the human lung speaking a sentence. Yes, I tend to go on and on...):

Q. How long did the production take?
A. From the time that Darklady sent me the script to see if I could put it all together until final cut, ".XXX - The Movie" took about 3 weeks of production. (not bad for an eight-minute film going for mainstream film standards.) The shooting of the main actor was smooth and only took seven hours for three minutes of coverage. He was a real pro, with such major credits as "supportive husband" in a Vagasil national ad campaign under his belt. He was fantastic to shoot with in all respects and really is the anchor of the film (even without Vagasil motivation).

The majority of the time spent was in collecting all of the cameo video appearances which was a very fun and interactive process involving a lot of leaders in the industry that I really respect and enjoy the company of. The result is many fond memories. Such as Michael Klein sending a confused (and probably grumpy) Hustler film crew across the valley to film Larry Flynt on eight hours notice; John Stagliano standing in an elevator lobby in Detroit with a guy with a flip cam doing seven takes to "get it right"; Joanna Angel doing five takes for her contribution, each one with less and less clothing (she wanted to show her range!); Ron Cadwell. Mitch Farber and Farley Cahen shooting their comments with their iPhones in portrait mode and me trying to convince them they really could hold their phones sideways when shooting video; and the PinkVisual crew pulling out all the stops and shooting Allison and Q on greenscreen - just because they could. These are the "over the phone" director-talking-to-actor moments I will always hold dear to my heart.

The person that donated the editing time and special effects probably had the biggest job in combining everything from HD to iPhone footage, creating the Fx, Ken Burns Effect montages, greenscreen shots, and all the rest of it. But, a good time was had by all in this, a true collaborative effort where no one really did a lot more than anyone else to bring it to fruition (well, except the editor). As for "directing" it, I'm not sure that's the word for it. It was more like being a taxi dispatcher. As for who produced it - well, kind of everyone involved. Nobody spent a dime on this and everyone pitched in. More like a bunch of hippies living in a yurt in a 1960's worker's collective than any sort of modern production that someone "owns". That's kind of cool in my opinion. Power To The People! (oh. I am dating myself here now, and this is just calling out for a Bob Dillon sing-along right now...)

Q. Do you think movement by the adult biz can topple the plan to implement .xxx?
A. I guess that really depends on how much "movement" there is. If those in the industry that are against it speak up in the form of just simple things - emails and letters to ICANN during the upcoming public comment period, there is a good chance that it will either be further delayed for more years of languishing and finally die a quiet death. Or, it will be shot down if the "sponsoring community" (us) make it clear we do not support it. But, if folks that are against it don't speak up, ICANN can't read their minds and the chances of .XXX becoming a reality increase significantly. If that happens, it will be a rude awaking to all, mostly in the form of spending a lot of money for no particular gain, but just to protect what is already owned.

Q. What's been the reaction to the movie so far?
A. Thus far, reaction has been very positive from both people in the industry and mainstream media that have seen it. The producers of the Colbert Report asked for a DVD last week when they heard the buzz about it. As have other mainstream news outlets that have been following the Dot-XXX story over the past eight years (yes, Darklady is very good at RSS, Facebook, Twitter and such other modern things that the media read). This makes me smile that they even noticed our little satire film produced by the red-headed stepchildren of modern media (i.e. "adult").


And, Rhett didn't ask these final questions, but everyone else does, so here they are:

Q. Why did you make this movie? Don't you have better things to do with your time?
A. Although I too am a busy, busy man: the main reason I participated in making this film was that I saw the eight years of verbal and written debate about the issue had very much become redundant and a lot of people in the industry were just glazed over from hearing about it for so long. Satire and parody have a great way of re-invigorating people and getting them to take a fresh look at important topics. Saturday Night Live is a great example of this and very much the model that this film followed. My other lure for directing the film was that Stuart Lawley presents such an interesting subject for satire. Jon Stewart and Bill Maher had an endless stockpile of material during the eight years of the Bush administration, as so with .XXX - Stuart providing a very rich and colorful source for observation, comment and satire.

Q. What do you hope to accomplish out of all of this?
For people to speak their minds. I am weary of people being glazed over or occluded on this issue and just want folks in this industry to speak up, on one side or the other.


Satire is a tool used throughout all of human civilization to show the "Emperor's New Clothes"

I'm happy to contribute to the tradition of creating satire when someone or something calls out for it by their actions, deeds, words and attitude towards others.

And I am also happy that Darklady gave me a script that had all of the right elements.

Hope you enjoyed the show...

Pish Posh!

Colin

Full Video, Op-Ed and Media Coverage on the dot-XXX sTLD may be found on DarkLady's site at DotXXXopposition.com

Like a bad penny that always turns up, ICM and Stuart Lawley have once again returned to the adult space, this time proclaiming they have won the battle and dot-xxx is no longer a proposal, but a reality. Mr. Lawley is the new sheriff in town and we better listen, according to what he says in this lengthy but revealing thread on XBIZ.net. If you are not yet a member of this board, I highly recommend it for excellent focused commentary by some of the most respected players in our industry on this issue.

What bothers and concerns me on this particular go-around is the sheer vitriol that is coming to the surface. It is obvious that Mr. Lawley has not an ounce of respect for the members of our business community and is ready to exploit it for all it is worth. But, that is not the only bad part of it, as it is expected from him, akin to a British Major General that is civilizing the sub-continent in the Victorian era.

What disturbs me is that this issue is now eating the industry apart from the inside out. A few old guard players are playing this like a fiddle for massive future profits, while the vast majority of the industry is once again scrambling to get a grasp on what they can do to protect their interests. And, most disturbingly, with little cohesive media editorial voice. XBiz.net has provided a valuable forum for this, but within a walled garden that is not accessible to the mainstream media, ICANN or GAC (the last line of ICANN defense in this matter).

I have seen this play out many times in the past and it saddens me each time it happens. Yes, we are all in this industry to make money, but when certain members of our marketplace that are considered leaders and founders sell everyone else out for the profit motive, regardless of how it impacts the future of the adult industry's integrity and cohesiveness as a legitimate entity, it just makes me shake my head in disgust.

I suppose those are results of a maturing market segment, but that really does not make it right or ethical, does it?

Oh, what has the world come to when I have to come up with a headline like that to jump out for a click?

Well, it is what it is.

Just a quick blog post to note something of interest on how we as adult program operators need to keep up the vertical platforms for the gadget of the week. In the past 6 months, Wasteland has deployed for IPTV on the Roku box, iPhone/iPod, then the Androids. Then, after a rather pleasant 19th century-feel trip back into time for developing classic BDSM eBooks for Kindle and Nook, now we have launched a site specifically for iPad.

What is remarkable about this, is that as soon as consumers purchase one of these gadgets, they go out and buy porn for them. Shades of 1998. The difference now is that every new hardware platform gets its own video optimized for it, and a whole set of affiliate tools to promote it. Not a huge job, but interesting to see how the workflow ebbs and flows with these new innovations.

So, in all of that, there is always a Press Release to write. How does one keep making news? Here is today's attempt to attract eyeballs:



BOSTON—"Waste not, want not" are the words that Wasteland/Spicecash CEO Colin Rowntree lives by, and he’s about to put them into action once again. Apple’s newest product will land in the eagerly-awaiting hands of 300,000+ consumers on April 1. But that auspicious date also will mark the day when the iPad becomes the newest platform on which Wasteland.com will begin to distribute its award winning content—no fooling!

Having already developed unique platforms for their exclusive BDSM content on iPhones, iPods, Androids, Kindle E-books, and IPTV through the Roku box, it was only natural that Wasteland would want to instantly customize a platform for iPad users.

"We always make sure not to leave any money on the table,” said Rowntree. “Our business principles—which have allowed us to survive in this industry since its birth—dictate that we cater to each individual user and their preferred method of viewing our content. It’s as simple as that. There is a whole captive credit card-wielding audience out there already primed to enjoy what we have to offer on their shiny new iPads. As with all our vertical platform development, we will be there at the beginning with arms open to welcome these surfers on their new device."

For Spicecash.com affiliates, April 1 will also be the day when affiliates will be able to promote bdsmPad.com—Wasteland’s iPad-optimized site—by simply logging in to their existing accounts or signup as new affiliates and instantly being able to grab links and ad tools.

"The really great hidden bonus,” said Rowntree, “is that due to whatever feud there is between Adobe and Apple, iPods, iPhones and now the iPad cannot view flash, which basically means we don't have to compete with the tubes who distribute all of their content via flash."

Surfers who exclusively consume adult content on iThings will either need to pay for porn or stick to the traditional methods of attaining free porn, including through TGP's, MGP's and link lists, which tend to have the same free galleries week after week.

"This is why all our mobile products convert like its 1999, and why we are expecting the same outcome from the iPad,” Rowntree said, adding, “I highly recommend to anyone with any BDSM traffic to jump on the bandwagon and start raking in cash from this untapped market."

Affiliates can start promoting Wasteland's bdsmPad.com (http://www.bdsmpad.com) through Spicecash.com (http://www.spicecash.com) today.

************************

I am tempted to start each press release with the phrase "it was a dark and stormy night" at this point, thinking someone might catch the ironic literary "Sturm und Drang" in that. But, the machine keeps on going every dark and stormy night long, but saying "Wasteland Cums On Your iPad" to get a read. Sigh.... Emily Bronte would roll over in her grave.

And, here is the amusing part: In order to do development for the iPad, I dropped the money for one. Here is what Steve Jobs and company sent me today for shipping tracking. Note carefully the point of origin:

LOUISVILLE, KY, US 03/31/2010 1:55 A.M. SHIPMENT IS HELD TO VERIFY COMMODITY DESCRIPTION WITH THE CUSTOMER FOR CORRECT CLASSIFICATION / BROKERAGE RELEASED SHIPMENT. SHIPMENT IS SUBMITTED TO CLEARING AGENCY FOR FURTHER CLEARANCE

03/31/2010 1:36 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN ANCHORAGE, AK, US 03/30/2010 6:50 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN 03/30/2010 1:01 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN GUANGZHOU, CN 03/30/2010 7:10 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN SHENZHEN, CN 03/29/2010 2:43 A.M. ORIGIN SCAN CN 04/01/2010 4:01 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

Tracking results provided by UPS: 03/31/2010 11:24 P.M. ET

Okay, so my bright shiny new iPad came from SHENZHEN China?

I had visions of my precious new iPad coming from a really big, organic, natural fiber yurt outside of Cupurtino, gently cared for and hand-polished by natural breasted girls with unshaved pubic regions in tie-died sarongs, with nice young men with beards, in hemp tunics, playing "gently Johnny" on acoustic guitars as background music, sending me my iPad. But NO - UPS tells me that it came from a rat-infested Walmart sweat shop 500 miles outside of Beijing, assembled by three-fingered toothless old Chinese women at gunpoint by Halburton outsourced productivity managers. Sigh.....

So much for my boycott of Walmart!

Happy touching of screens all. I gotta get up early to test out my new platform before the Apple'istas read this on RSS and brick my new device!

Better living though chemistry,
Colin