Aside from the telling box art, this flick was exactly what I was expecting -- and yet, it was nothing like it, either.

What we have here is what is known in Zen as a "koan" -- which, according to Wikipedia, is "a story, dialogue, question, or statement ... generally containing aspects that are inaccessible to rational understanding, yet that may be accessible to intuition. A famous koan is, 'Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand clapping?'"

Within the first three minutes, our poor male hero is already 3/4 of the way into being dressed as a woman: He sports a garter belt, stockings and knee high leather boots. Soon he's throwing on a bra, panties, black wig and makeup.

By the seven minute mark, he's all dressed up with no place to go. No, literally; he really can't go anywhere (he's tied to a chair). I think you've already got an idea of where this is headed, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. After all, misery loves company.

It's bad enough that this poor schmuck has one of the smallest penises I've ever seen, but he's also forced to suck on dildos while being spanked by a sultry dominatrix who completely (excuse the MySpace slang) PWNS him. The next thing you know, he's hoisted up like a pig on a spit with beads wrapped around his balls.

By the time our two dominatrixes started ramming that dildo up his ass I'd had enough; ironically, the flick was now over, beggaring the question, "Do the guys at work hate me? How did they manage to sneak this into my review pile all ninja-like?"

While I await an answer that may never come (damn, another koan!), I suggest that domination fans everywhere give this one a look. Everyone else should very politely turn heel and run as fast as they can in the opposite direction. It's, uh ... hmm ... damn, I'm speechless again.

Starring Madame Sindi, Mistress Ivie and "Julie."

Directed by someone wise enough to keep his/her name a secret. Zing!

No extras.