opinion

Chupa mi culo, robe mi colchon or: Pull My Daisy

Sativa Rose and Daisy Marie are Mexicanas calientes.

Rose is from the state of Sinaloa and Marie, though she grew up in Salem, Oregon, spent a lot of time with family in Zacatecas, which is southwest of Sinaloa. The two got along great amidst the free dildos, leopard-print furniture, and heavy redness of the Video Secrets studio in Calabasas, where they met to frolic naked for The Great Internet Experiment.

"Calabasas is Spanish for 'pumpkins'," I repeated, just to hear myself talk.

"I am having my period," Sativa Rose said, but neither of us was in the same room.

I last saw a prostrate Sativa Rose in Digital Playground's Deeper.

"Yeah, that was weird," she said.

I had visited this studio last month for an Angie Savage/Crissy Moran pairing, and I was kind of waiting for a shoe to drop. Savage and Moran were great together, so I assumed tonight would be the night that the knives came out. It was statistically inevitable.

It would go like this:

"Hi, bitch. Nice ass."

"Thanks, bitch. Nice face."

"Oh no you didn't!"

Instead, Rose and Marie got along famously, and indulged their Internet callers with plenty of Spanish dirty talk, including the subject line.

The two handled various marital aids for the amusement of subscribers to the video feed. They practiced blowjobs on a dildo. Marie said she gave a lot of blowjobs in high school and liked pre-come.

"You sucked all the pre-come out of that dildo!" Rose said admiringly.

The Video Secrets studio has been undergoing some major renovations, no doubt paid for by the huge amounts of traffic I send them. There was a bed I remembered that was no longer there.

"We decided to throw that away," the web producer, Ciara, said. She estimated that about 500 women and men had performed straight and gay shows on or around that bed.

"If you used a black light on that mattress ... " she began, but abandoned the thought.

The company rented a dumpster during the renovation and threw the mattress in it. It was gone the next day.

"I can't imagine why someone would steal a mattress out of a dumpster behind an office building," she said. "I guess they didn't know what it had been used for."

I looked at the scrolling display of men on the computer screen, demanding Sativa Rose and/or Daisy Marie lick each other's butts.

"Or maybe they did," I suggested.

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