opinion

The first rule of <i>Asian Mouth Club 3</i>

...is You do not talk about Asian Mouth Club 3 until it hits shelves and your favorite VOD player in late September. That is why we will, instead, talk about AMC3 director David Aaron Clark and Lurk Ford. "I think that between your mordant flirtations/exploitations of on the one hand poor, doomed lunatic shikse Heidi (I originally thought this concerned Ford's fascination with another shikse named Heidi - GP) and shallow, glib narcissist J(oanna) Angel on the other, you begin to occupy a truly Rothian territory in (your) latest evolution, at least in terms of your lust/disgust thralldom to what is commonly referred to as "Insane: So Hopefully Insane Enough to F--- Me," Clark writes to Ford. Earlier on his site, Ford explains that it's not that he out-and-out hates the industry that has been his sole source of income and that he has vowed to destroy, but justifies the need for a separation between his two lives. "I like a lot of people in porn, but if they started flooding into my writing club or hiking club or Australia club or cricket club, I wouldn't like it," he writes. This is why Ford, with whom I have played tennis every day for the past six years, except on Sukkot, when we play badminton, suddenly asked me to leave his hiking club. "There are dingoes in Runyon Canyon," he said, averting his eyes over the phone. "They savaged my sheila." That leads me to what I think is the inevitable question: Would Ford belong to any Asian Mouth Club 3 that would have him as a member?

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