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New Porn Daily: <i>Sex Secrets of the Yeti</i>

New Porn Daily: Sex Secrets of the Yeti

August 16, 2007
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I consulted my 12-year-old self, who proclaimed Private's Sex Secrets of the Yeti "even better than Krull".

It hasn't snowed in Los Angeles since 1962, so the idea of porn shot in the snow almost seems like science fiction. Leave it to the wacky Europeans to make Sex Secrets of the Yeti, in which different men dressed in gorilla suits for no good reason couple with ski-suited Euro-hotties atop an alp.

This movie is tremendously stupid, but that matters little in a porn movie. I only mentioned it was tremendously stupid because I pay myself by the word. Still, it bears mentioning that at one point a ski bunny and the Yeti have been walking toward each other for about 30 feet before she even slightly registers apprehension.

Then there's the scene where the Yeti and a not-Yeti bang their sweethearts side by side. That we see the guy in the Yeti suit's t-shirt all the way through makes me think that Private had blown so much of the budget on the location and keeping the ladies in chapstick that the company paid very little attention to explaining why the Yeti did not rip his conquests limb from limb afterward.

But maybe that's one of his sex secrets.

Previously: Every picture tells a story; Ladyboy or Cenobite?; Private introduces first hybrid synergy porn star

See also: Private


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