An awkward conversation with Heather Vandeven about her rubberized vagina
"You mean my pussy and ass?" she asked sweetly.
"Yes," I said.
"They actually covered my pussy and ass with goop," she said, "and made a model of them. Then they did it to my face, my lips, everything."
"Yes. Have you tried them out?"
I felt like she was asking me if I'd read her diary.
"I got your P & A and Juli Ashton's P & A on the same day," I said.
"Did you put them on your wall as a kind of collage?" she asked.
"That's a great idea, but No," I said. "But I did take them out and held one in each hand."
The Heather Vandeven P & A and the Juli Ashton P & A aren't the same. I was sure they would be. Vandeven's is/are smaller.
I thought of the expression "to take a flying fuck at" something. That is how I would imagine having a go at these disembodied pieces of Heather Vandeven. It didn't seem right, but then again most people don't get to have an amiable conversation with the delightful Vandeven in Inglewood, where I once saw Neil Diamond.