Home > Features > MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve • Bookmark   • Newsletters   • Register Search Options

FEATURE

MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve

MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve

April 24, 2007
Text size: 
Get XBIZ News
XBIZ Research
Will virtual reality boost the paysite market?
Yes, it will soon
  39.66%
Yes, but in a few years
  36.87%
No
  23.46%
Out of 179 votes. Results based on votes submitted by members of XBIZ.net social network.
I have been traveling the highways and byways of Porn Valley this week asking people just what they think a MILF is. I have yet to hear the same definition twice. In general, though, it is women who are the literalists and the men who tend to be a little more laissez faire in their requirements. One guy said, "A MILF is anyone older than me."

"Any woman older than you," I clarified.

"Yes. A MILF has to be a woman."

"Good," I said. "Because I'm older than you."

"I try to keep my relations with the press professional," he said.

"You must not be from around here," I said.

Anyway, here is Kimberly Kole. She stars in Jim Powers' Mother Fuckers 4. Her scene features a fantasy sequence in which she seduces her stepson (the fact that he was her stepson was not revealed until a few minutes in, after I had already fired off several indignant letters to my member of Congress).

I asked Jim Powers how he defined a MILF.

"A MILF has to be a woman who has a kid of an age that has friends who can be attracted to her," he said. "She needs to be over 35."

"Can she be an adoptive mother?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

In that way, Powers is more concerned with the "I" in MILF than the "M". For him, the subjective "I" trumps the objective "M".

In Kole's fantasy sequence, she utters the following line:

"Just imagine your dick between my ass."

After a week of wrestling with the thorny and complex MILF issue, my normally-ordered thoughts were once again thrown into disarray.

Did Kole mean ass cheeks? For me - but I am a Buddhist - an ass is something to get in or up, not between. I guess next week I will spend determining what is an ass (and I don't mean Bill Mullet).

Previously: Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry; Hannah Harper: Passion is to magma as squirting is to lava; Crack smokin' in America; Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes

See also: Sin City

Buy it.


LEGAL PERSPECTIVES

The Skinny on the New DMCA Requirement

The requirements under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) have changed, but the sky is not falling. We have, even as a law firm, been hit with an unbelievable amount of spam sent out by law firms... More »

2017 Outlook: Legal Matters Around the Corner

The adult entertainment business’ legal community recently weighed in the top issues that companies and the industry, as a whole, should be concerned about. XBIZ asked industry attorneys to discuss... More »

Fraudulent Brazilian Trademark Registrations Running Rampant

Although you might not think often about protecting your trademark rights in Brazil, you need to — even if you don’t yet have a single Brazilian customer. Scammers are constantly looking for... More »
XBIZ NEWSLETTERS
Stay informed of the latest industry developments. Get XBIZ newsletters delivered to your inbox. Subscribe today!
Enter email address:

* To manage existing subscriptions click here.






POPULAR PRODUCTS & SERVICES
Submit your press release to
multiple news outlets with 1 click.
Subscribe to RSS news feeds or
add free content to your website.
Access XBIZ news and articles
with your mobile device.
Subscribe to XBIZ Premiere magazine, the industry's leading adult retail trade publications, delivering the most timely and comprehensive business news and information to producers and retailers of adult products.

UPCOMING EVENTS

EXXXOTICA Denver

Mar 31 - Apr 02
Denver, CO.

Eurowebtainment 2017

May 17 - May 20
Majorca, Spain

XBIZ Retreat

May 30 - Jun 03
Miami, Florida

XBIZ Miami 2017

May 30 - Jun 02
Miami, Florida
Everyday thousands of business professionals browse XBIZ's industry directory for quality products and services. Not listed yet? Your company could be losing potential new business. Submit your company today!
Use XBIZ RSS feeds to stay informed of the latest industry developments or as a content syndication tool for your website!