Porn Valley font panic
Four out of five porn consumers surveyed said that the boxcover font was the determining factor in all their adult purchases, followed distantly by pictures of women with fingers in their mouths.*
Both Ghetto Booty*licious and Silverlake Scenesters employ a stroked block font that threatens to occlude the powerful message these movies seek to deliver.
Is "bootylicious" a word Vena Virago might use to describe coffee-drinking, dog-park-loitering, Trader Joe's-fake-crab-buying residents of SilverLake?
And what of Booty*licious' Ariel Alexus (coincidentally also the name of a place I like to put my thumb when I pick up hookers)? Do you think she wants to convey the impression that the women who share her movie are pale Nietzsche-reading 'zine contributors? Hells no.
As the spokesman of this industry and as a noted adult icon, I call for the creation of a Porn Font Commission so this never happens again. The madness needs to stop.
*Survey respondents were inpatients at Missouri's Krammler Center for the Criminally Insane, one of this site's sponsors.