opinion

<i>Cream My Crack</i>: the best anyone could come up with

Red Light District and WantedList scoured the earth to come up with a title for a new porn movie. They found it in the writings of a man from Xenia, Ohio. Employing alliteration, first-person address, and an appeal to a niche market, Cream My Crack is the realization of the dreams of Kid Winters, who received 100 Red Light DVDs.

"I just received my DVDs," Winters said. "When (Red Light) said there is a shit load of DVDs, (they) were not kidding. My DVD player will be smoking for a very long time. Thank you very much on the opportunity.”

Look at these words for a second:

SHIT LOAD.

Forget that the phrase has come to be synonymous with "a lot":

SHIT LOAD.

Is a SHIT LOAD of DVDs really any kind of reward?

Cream My Crack stars Cassie Courtland, Veronica Lynn, Mya Luanna, Annie Cruz, Haley Scott, Tiffany Rayne, and Nikki Nievez.

One of the runners-up was Pump Her in the Dumper. I like that one.

In other news, the person who came up with the title of VCA's Fuck My Face never got any Red Light District videos.

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